A sudden confrontation

In 1979, my mother, brothers, sister and me were unexpectedly confronted with the war record of my father, Jack van den Brom, in a very harsh way. One Sunday evening, at dinner, the phone rang. It was for my father. When he had finished the conversation he could say nothing more than: “They finally found me."

He was wanted by his daughter from Indonesia. For my mother this was a confirmation of something she had always feared. In the period she married my father in 1953, there were many rumours about servicemen, who had fathered mixed race children in Indonesia in wartime. But my father had not done anything like that, as he assured my mother. And now this phonecall.

I thought my mother would go mad with grief. We were baffled and could not believe it. My mother never recovered from this blow, and this certainly contributed to an early death after stroke. I understand very well that a warlovechild is eager to know her biological father, but she for sure has not sufficiently realized how much sadness she has brought in our family by doing so. Except for my brother, none of our siblings wanted contact with our Indonesian sister, because we made a clear choice in favour of our mother, who has had a very hard time ever since.

We now consider it as something from the past of my father, and we prefer to let it rest. February 2010 my father deceased and right now we are again confronted with the history of my father due to the broadcasting of the film Tuan Papa (Sir Daddy), where he is interviewed. He has never talked about the shootings with us. Through my brother, who has contacts with our half-sister in Indonesia, we heard that they have contributed. This documentary, which we have not seen yet, will certainly contribute to the recognition of war children and will maybe contribute a bit to processing their grief, but for us it is important to emphasize that a story always has two sides.

Written by Adri, Lenie and Rene van den Brom

Do you probably have a half brother or half sister in Indonesia, fathered by your father during his military service in Indonesia in the years 1946-1950? Or did your father ever talk about about this? Please let us know! Contact us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it